The Retirement Move Toolkit: Helping Mum or Dad Get Through It

Helping a parent consider a move to retirement living can feel awkward, emotional, and uncertain for both of you. There’s often no clear starting point. No rulebook. Just a quiet sense that something might need to change soon.

This isn’t about pushing anyone to move. It’s about giving your parent — and your family — time, space, and options. With the right tools, you can take a gentle, thoughtful approach that avoids last-minute stress and builds toward a better quality of life.

That’s where this planning toolkit comes in.

Why Having a Toolkit Helps

It’s tempting to wait, to bring it up “when the time feels right”.

But the reality is, most retirement moves don’t begin with urgency, they begin with a conversation. Talking about things sooner stops pressure building up later. You’re able to dig into things properly, plan together, and take small steps that build confidence.

This isn’t just about where your parent might live. It’s about how they want to live.

What’s Inside the Toolkit

Each part of this toolkit is designed to make the journey clearer and calmer, for you and for them.

Conversation Starters

A gentle way to broach the subject without any pressure.

Many parents instinctively say, “I’m fine as I am.” So instead of leading with “Should we look at retirement homes?”, try something softer.

You could say:

“I read about a retirement village that’s more like a lifestyle community — gyms, restaurants, even art classes. Ever wondered what that might be like?”

Or:

“If you ever wanted to downsize or make things easier day-to-day, would you want to explore options with me — just to see what’s out there?”

These kinds of approaches are soft invitations to consider their options.

Timeline Planner

Here’s a loose guide of a typical timeline:

• 6–12 months: Introduce ideas gently, read up on options and go see them for yourselves.
• 3–6 months ahead: Start narrowing things down, plan the finances, and talk with third parties who would assist with the move.
• 0–3 months ahead: Confirm the best fit, reserve a property, and organise the necessary help for the move.

Spacing things out in this way gives your parent time to get used to the idea and avoids overwhelm.

Decision Criteria Checklist

Every retirement village has lots to offer, so it’s important to get past the glossy photos and into what really matters.

Here are the main things to consider:

• Is the location familiar and convenient? What transport is available?
• Do the amenities suit how your parent wants to live — fitness, dining, social life?
• What kind of support is available if health needs change?
• Are the costs clear — including any ongoing fees or conditions?
• And above all: does it feel like a place they could belong?

Comparing Options Easily

When you’re juggling brochures, websites, and family opinions, it’s easy to lose track. A basic comparison table — even just in a spreadsheet — makes life much easier, especially if there are a few options that interest you.

List each option with things like:

• Location
• Monthly costs
• Services included
• Your parent’s personal reaction
• Other pros and cons

This ensures you don’t miss a key detail when decision time comes. What’s more? It means you can feel confident in your decision once it is made.

Who Does What?

Whether it’s siblings, close friends, or extended family — get organised as to who is doing what as soon as possible.

Maybe you handle the research, a sibling takes care of the logistics and a friend helps your parent take care of the associated paperwork.

The point is getting organised and having clear roles, as it reduces stress and means everyone pulls in the same direction.

What to Expect (and Normalize)

Even if the move makes perfect sense, don’t be surprised if your parent resists. Most do at first.

They might say:

“This place is fine.”

“I’m not ready.”

“I don’t want to feel old.”

That’s normal.

Often, fear of losing independence is stronger than any desire for convenience or community. It takes time — and sometimes a moment of reflection — for the idea to take root.

You may feel impatient, or guilty, or unsure. That’s normal too.

Just keep the conversation going and remain calm – being gentle, reassuring and patient means you’ll get there slowly but surely.

How We Can Support You

You’re not expected to have all the answers obviously!

Here’s how we can help:

• You’re welcome to attend an open day with your parent for a look around.
• Our team offers planning calls, where you can ask anything — timelines, fees, care options, moving help.
• Stories from Rangeford property owners are really reassuring — hear from people who’ve made the move and never looked back.
• And if you reach the action stage, we offer practical support around moving and settling in.

Ready to Talk It Through?

If you’d like a calm, informed chat with someone who understands this process — we’re here.

No expectations. Just friendly guidance, whenever you’re ready.